Certainty

I've been on pins and needles in a way the last two weeks. Two weeks ago, I came into work at my office. I normally only come to the office when I need to, and travel around my area the rest of the time, but that day I came in. I had just received my pay stub online the night before, and it wasn't quite right. See, I was supposed to get a yearly raise, and judging by my review it should have been the same as last year's raise. When I opened my pay stub, I found out it was much less.

So I decided that I was going to talk to my boss about it. In fact, my boss is new at the company, so I was going to talk to HIS boss about it. However, that was thwarted...when my boss's boss was "let go" that morning. Human Relations from a higher office came in, and explained the situation to everyone. My boss and one of his coworkers were let go as well. The real problem though, is that when HR told everyone, they all but said "there'll be more in a couple weeks".

Which leads us to today. No one really knows when the axe is coming, but we know that more people will be let go, and we don't know when or who. Of course this creates a PERFECT breeding ground for rumours. I hate rumours. All they do is reduce productivity and raise stress in this environment. Seriously, every time I would relax and settle into my work, someone would bring up one of these rumours and I'd tense up again, and lose all focus and desire to work.

I'm not sure how I feel about the whole situation. My job is the one that provides the vast majority of our family income, so it is necessary that I work, and this job provides a very steady paycheck. On the other hand, I've had 4 bosses over the past year, so my department has not had much real leadership lately. The lack of leadership has made me question how much I really like this job. But honestly, I have really liked this job over the last couple of years. So I have a hard time telling if I'd really be happy in this job should I be allowed to keep it, or if I should move on (one way or another!).

So on one hand I'm excited to see what will happen. On the other hand, I'm scared because I don't know.

I do keep resting in the knowledge that God works all things together for good. He knows my needs, and He knows the needs of my family. It is AWESOME to be able to put faith in what He is doing. I know that I'm not here on my own. I know that the birds of the sky don't work, but they eat. I know that the fields don't work, but they are clothed. I know that God created me to work, and cares for us more than the birds and the fields. I know that He won't leave me or forsake me. Sometimes I just have to get my heart to know all of that, and to rest in Him.

One thing to think on though. If you believe what the Bible says, and you believe that Jesus is who He said He was. If you believe that Jesus is God's son, who became a man, and died on the cross for us, and rose from the dead. If you believe that, then you have to realize how great the cost was to save us all. And He did die to save us ALL, even those who deny Him and haven't yet asked for forgiveness and put their trust in Him. All you have to do is ask.

The point is though, if God paid so great a cost for ME and for YOU, do you really think that He would give up on us? Do I really think He would give up on me? No. He won't leave us or forsake us. The price was too great to do that. I'm going to learn to trust in Him more, and not in my job, and not in a paycheck. Jobs and people and money come and go. He stays.